DEAR LIFE.

Dear Life,

Why are you forever so depressing? When can you stop depressing me?! When everyone knows everyone and i don't know anyone. When everybody knows everything and i don't know anything. When you hope to please everyone yet you'll still offend someone. When you really want to say something and yet you didn't say it. When you loved someone truely yet you're the one destroying it. When you wanted it yet everything is stopping you from reaching it. When you don't want to think of it yet it keeps haunting you like mad. When there's nothing stopping you other than you yourself. When you wanted to let everything go but something told you not to. when you know you're not suppose to do it but temptation made you do it all. When you tell people that you're fine and you put on a smile telling people there's nothing wrong yet deep down you're dying. When you say something but you actually don't mean it. When you hope miracles happen yet it just never happens. When you wished something never happen and yet it'll always happen. When someone stepped into your life unintentionally and left a big scar intentionally. When you hoped he won't let it go and yet, he did. When you said the truth yet people accused you of lying. When people just don't understand and you hope they did. When you hope you have everything but then you can't get rid of the fact that you have nothing. When you're desperate for someone to be there to lend you a listening pair of ears and a shoulder to lie on, you realise there's no one to turn to. When you stare at the same ceiling wall for million of hours and you can think about 1000 possibilities of things that may happen yet none of them happened. When you swear that you'll never shed a tear for a paricular person ever again and yet, you cried like shit for that person. When you feel way too lonely that you start to think that lonliness kills. When you don't realise how important a person is to you until one day, that person is gone for good. When you thought you have it all and yet you have nothing. When you did a million of wrongs and there is no way to make it right again. When you look at her and you know you'll never be that perfect, no one knows how badly you wished you were her. When you know it's a big mistake yet you just don't want to stop. When you say you won't do it again but yet you still keep doing it.

My darling life, when i look into other people's life, i can't help but think why ain't my life as perfect as theirs. How perfect are theirs and how messed up is mine. I turned my life into mountain of rubbish and no matter how i tried to clear it, people just keep throwing more. My life is filled with lots of question mark and answers that i really need now but no one is there to answer it for me. I hope i can just throw my problems far away so they'll never come crawling back to me.

I hope life is just a game played by me, when i calls the shots and i set the rules, people like you will just play by the rules i give. By then, it'll be so much easier. They say live your life to the fullest, but how? When i life is a maze and love is a riddle, it's hard to find a way out. Life and love, give me either one. So that when life is all messed up, love will be there to walk with me through thick and thin. So that when love hurts way to much, life will make the world look beautiful. So now that i have none, GOD PLEASE GIVE ME ONE.

Dear life, no matter how hard you are, I DON'T WANT TO WALK MY LIFE ALONE.

Future forever, when are you coming?

xoxo,

Ting En.

To -xx-, you don't know what's love, so don't say you loved. Don't teach how people should love. You're enjoying, but people are suffering, THAT'S NOT LOVE.

Today went out with joeyshen. We were suppose to study but, YOU KNOW, with JoeyShen around, You'll never be able to study. (N) LessonForToday : DON'T GO STUDYING WITH JOEYSHENJIEHUI. :D

nothing much.

byebye! <3