Life is about screwing everything then say you're sorry.

Love doesn't walk away, people do.

Nobody's perfect. Everyone have flaws. But, I am way far from perfect, way far from good, way far from average. I'm horrible. It's not like only I realize it now. Hello, I'm someone with self-awareness and I totally know how much I suck okay? It's not like I didn't know I suck, I knew it way before I was born, so ya. So the conclusion is I suck, and I'm totally horrible, and I have to accept who am I, why am I like that, BECAUSE I WAS BORN THIS WAYYY. I know I'm suppose to love myself for who I am, but the fact is can't and I don't. I hate myself.

I know katy perry says that 'baby you're a firework, come on show 'em what you're worth.'
but I'm definitely don't shine like a firework, and clearly, I am worth nothing.



I know Selena Gomez asked 'who says? Who says you're not perfect? '

Well, everything in life said it, proved it, and I am convinced.

I know pink said that 'you are fucking perfect to me.'

But like I said, nobody's perfect. especially not me.

Freak, I can't even stand myself sometime. I hope I will change, it's time for a change. I know I may suck like a bitch now, but I don't want to be a bitch forever yo.

You must be thinking that I'm a weirdo, oh well I am. And seriously? I really suck, I am not as nice you thought I am. & some of them knows how I suck, (: I don't think I should be proud of myself. LOL. I can list down a hundred why I suck, but I just can't think of one that make me awesome. Maybe one, I'm awesome because I am Ting En? Is that even a valid one?

;

Best friends? Hah. I don't know anymore. People come and go. But I thought we will stay the same. I thought we were more than just 'best friends'.To me, you're really really irreplaceble, like I will never find another you. You can't be compared, I think I love you more than I love my sis. I thought I can move on from everyone, my other friends can be true to me or they can be fake, whatever, because they aren't you. I knew you since FOREVER, but as time passes, everything starts to fade. I can't remember what were the promises we once made anymore. You say you will meet me halfway, but I don't think so. Yes, you told me I am irreplacable, that I have no idea how much you missed me, all those time we spend together. But hey,

What are words when you don't really mean them when you say them?

You are irreplacable, I miss you. I love you. And I mean it, really. My mom told me friends leaves, none of them stays forever. I chose not to believe her, and told her you will never leave me. But, I think she was half correct. She was right that you will leave. but she was wrong because you're not 'just friends'.

I really hope that it's my illusion. But you indeed spend your time with them instead of me, we never even went out together once this entire year. Who am I in your heart right now? But I still love you no matter what.

;

Everyone fakes a laughter, force a smile. Everyone seems okay everyday. Why are we even trying so hard to make us look alright?

To keep questions away.

But, won't you get tired? Sometimes, I just want to break down. I want to laugh when I want to laugh. I want to cry when I want to cry. I want to scream when I want to scream. I want to show you that I'm pissed when I'm pissed. I am just tired of smiling and laughing at everything. First thing, my mouth hurts when I smile/laugh too much. Second, what's the point?

Sometime, I really envy those attention seeker bitches. At least they dare to show other people how they feel, and do exaggerating stuff that make you feel like killing them. At least they get to cry when they want to cry, while I have to bottle up everything and make myself feel alright. That's so unfair.

;

See, you chose to leave. No one stays anyway. I will get use to it. 'I will love you no matter what'. WHAT A JOKE. Kept looking at you during the parade, everything made it obvious. What's love?

-

kaythanksbye.