Lost me? Lost me not.

So here I am, blogging again. I forgotten the beauty of blogging until recently. I just hope by blogging and vomiting everything out, I can find my way back in life again. :)

So here I am. Back to 2010, to a life where I know no one, trust no man. The guy I have been with for almost forever, just broke up with me. And yes, I'm more lost than ever. It feels like a piece of me was taken along with him as he left. Now, I am just sitting here with everything broken, looking for a way to fix up the place so I will not hurt myself by stepping on these broken glasses.

It feels like the world is crashing. it's been 3 months. I can't go on like this. I'm not sure if I'm gonna ever see him come back to me, or if he is gonna be a memory there and then. But these four years, all the bitter sweet, I can't move on. We've went through so much, to say good bye. \

But at the same time, if he loved me, he would be here. Silently, just like he use to, with his shoulder for me to cry on, and hold me close because I needed him. But he wouldn't care. I tried chasing, but as time pass and the coldness in him is hard to bare, I wonder if I will ever succeed and if it is worth it anymore.

We both are tired. That's why we ended. He can't love me anymore, he don't feel it. He don't wanna be. He wants a life without me and me to respect it. The way he say it, is rejecting his request even possible? Now all I can ask from myself, the last thing i can ever do for him, is to let him be happy. I guess this is where the path ends. Where we go on our seperate ways, and put all these down.

I ask myself about the future. If I will even exist. What we had was so beautiful. The chase, the love, even the tears, what we shared is something so magical no one can ever have. It's a pity to me to see it all disappear. It's the feeling that brought us together, but also the same cruel feeling that tears us apart. I wonder when he kisses another girl lips, will I ever appear in his mind. I wonder when he goes to the movie with her, will he miss me in his arms. I wonder when he hold her close, will he be reminded of the scent of my hair. I wonder when they have late night talks, will he remember how we pour our hearts out till 4am. And most importantly, I wonder when he tells him that she love her, will he look upon the stars and think about me. Because I definitely will.

He's gonna miss me when I'm gone. 

He's gonna miss me by the hair, he's gonna miss me everywhere.

He's gonna miss me by my talk, he's gonna miss me by my walk.

Oh, he's gonna miss me when i'm gone. 

I guess he lost me. But that's my fault. I lost myself. I know me by my name, I know my by my look. But when i take all these down, I don't recognize the face staring back at me through the mirror. I'm so empty. And I will focus on living first. Yes I shall. But one thing I havent lost though, and that is, I'm strong. That, is a part of me, that no one, not even you, can take away from me. Sometimes I ask myself why you even let me go, haha jk.

And I shall let go. And gamble once again. Just like how I always did. If you leave, you leave. But if we're meant to be, you'll come back. (most of them don't, oh well). You say you won't hurt me like others, up till today, i hold it dearly. 2605 is coming in 2 days time. it's suppose to be our 3 year anni. You say, it's just a date.

x

Ting En

Tied. Tried. Tired.

I want to do a lot of things. But I feel like I'm tied down by a lot of things too.Will I ever be able to breakaway?

Party like 2012?

So yeah. Today I am gonna post something related to 21.12.12! This is just gonna be something like a reflection post, and if you're not interested, red [X] on the top right corner of the screen.

In case you have been living in a hole, or a cave, or a jungle, this is the date said to be then end of the world! So, being said, just like everybody else, I know it might happen but I didn't really give a shit to it because it's probably fake and THOSE FREAKING SCIENTIST KEEP LYING TO US ABOUT THE WORLD ENDING and no, we don't believe in liars! Once bitten twice shy. :B

But then, weiwei told me he did research about how the world is going to end and it seriously sounded possible. Hence, I further researched on it and I am totally convinced. So here's on how the world's gonna end: It's gonna be a solar storm. What is solar storm? That's a good question, let the guru tell you about it. *points at myself* SO apparently, solar storms, generated by an outburst from the sun, are set to knock out national power grids and Global Positioning Systems. It is believe that magnetic rays from the storm will result in widespread blackouts which will plunge homes and businesses into darkness. It could also lead to potentially deadly knock-on effects, for instance if hydro-electric dams holding back millions of gallons of water are knocked offline.


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2191936/Government-adviser-fight-save-Earth-devastating-solar-storms-expected-knock-National-Grid-2013.html#ixzz2DOR0qYU8
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So lazy to further explain, to know better, read the above link tyvm. *wink*

So basically, I don't believe that the world is going to end, but I do believe it's gonna be a complete disaster for mankind and that, the earth is not gonna completely whip out but also, most of the mankind, wouldn't be able to survive this. Which actually sets me thinking on why is this happening. 

*** Reflection Time!***

*Note: The god I am referring to is the god who created earth, whoever you think the god may be, it's up to you.*

I am a person who really believes in Karma. That what goes around, comes around. Karma moves in two directions. If we act virtuously, the seed we plant will result in happiness. And if we act non virtuously, suffering is the result. What you give is what you get, like gravity, karma is so basic you don't even know how basic it can be.

I was thinking, why do mankind have to suffer? And that everyday living is another day of torture, so what's the point of living then? Started asking, why is god so unfair to mankind, was he having period when he create mankind, so that he can vent his anger on us and torture us to death?! But coming to think of it, I realized. No. God have it's own purpose on creating us mankind. We were all born to complete a mission that god have given us along with our heartbeat. But yet, look what are we doing to all this? Misusing everything on earth for our own benefits, using nature like it's everlasting. It's human's selfishness, being so freaking self-centered, and the greed of wanting more that cause the end of the world. Even if the world don't end this year, it'll soon. If we escape this one, it's because a chance is given but I doubt anyone will even give a shit and take how fortunate we can be for granted. 

God have been fair, giving us what is necessary for survival from the beginning. Giving us the smartest brain that can work almost anything impossible. Air to breathe, food to eat, water to drink. But as humans, greed got over us. We wanted more, for our own benefits. Look around you, electronic devices everywhere. Look at what you are staring at, your screen. Without fan without light, without whatsapp without twitter/facebook, we will probably die. But this is what we desire, not what we truly need. People survive well being monkeys and !kung bushman in the forest, appreciating nature. And here we are, complaining that we can't see the last seen on whatsapp. -.- The world don't make sense anymore! 

I guess the life before might be hard to live without the technologies we have now, having to hunt for food and water, seeking shelter and stuff. However, I think that their life are happier than now. No greed, no selfishness, how mankind should behave. But now, everything negative is happening to mankind, and yet we can blame anything but ourselves for the hardship now. Karma is a bitch, it will hit you, what you make suffer, will come back haunting you down. 

I know most of us ain't happy with the society at all, saying that society is ugly. How everything is so darn ugly and sad. Saying "You're not ugly, society is." Bullshit. Deep down you know, you are part of the society. That you can be pretty darn ugly too. Everything I said, goes to me too okay? I can be pretty ugly too, I may contribute to someone's unhappiness too. So we do all know that we do things to hurt others, no one's perfect. So don't blame anyone for being bad to you at this moment,  don't blame anyone who make you feel like shit, don't blame karma. Blame yourself, whatever that is happening to you now, is what you made someone feel at a certain point of time. Take it like a man yo, and never make the same mistake again. Society is ugly, we're part of society, we are ugly too. Not physically ah, i mean you know. Hahhaha.

So much more to say, but don't want to flood you all with words. So let's all hold hand and gather around the campfire to sing the campfire song on 211212. We shall bravely face the consequences and be responsible for our unacceptable action and wrong doings, eventhough I really want to get married, have a great time with my husband and have some babies, but well i guess it's okay. I love you guys. :)

Be nice,

#Tingenxoxo *smuacks!*

Happy Halloween!

My Halloween appearance! weehee! (Taken with my own camera)

So whaddup guys! It's Halloween yesterday! Did you guys have fun?! Yesterday was like hell lot of fun yeah GOSH. Especially the make up part. HAHA. It's like I don't make up... So I don't even know how to line my eyes. Hahhaha. I can never be a woman for life. #ForeverALittleGirl

Yesterday fun was with GATSBY! (excluding adilah.D: ) Gilyn, Amy, Shaun and Bing chen! Awesome people. LOVE THEM MUCH. Aww gimmw a hug you awesome people. *Hugs the computer screen*

So yesterday all of us meet up at Amy House at 6.30pm to do our make up since non of us Have make up except for her. We just watch each other destroy our faces. Hahaha. We almost gave up until this quote hit us... "THE UGLIER THE BETTER. IT'S HALLOWEEN." So we started splashing make up all over instead of applying it. Hahahah. Epic! Especially the guys. Eye liner, eye liner, MORE EYE LINER. hahaha. Played so much. Then we were running late. So we decided to cab there. Then the taxi uncle freak out he crashed onto the road! LMAO. srsly.. We went there and... WE HAD A DAMN GOOD TIME SCARING PEOPLE AND GETTING SCARED. Loving halloween! 

Group Photo taken bye Sinyi's camera! Everyone looking FABULOUS. MUAHAHAH. 

Okay, the below pictures all by Amy's Ipone!! :D

Ghostly<3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">

Gilyn as a girl ghost. She scare the hell out of ALMOST EVERYONE LOL. 

Hahahah me. XD Those scars look like veins. Gosh. 

Gilyn again. Blur ghost (?)

Emo boys. HAHAHA. Btw, Bingchen? You look gay with gilyn pouch! :'D

OH HELL YEAH MICHEAL JACKSON COME ALIVE. 

HOT AMY, refusing to be as ugly as us. HAISHA....

My favourite! BABY POP CORN. <3 food="food" nbsp="nbsp" p="p" yayayay="yayayay" yumyum="yumyum">

Ang mors. LOL.

EYE BAL. no. WALKING EYEBALL. What can be cooler right... Win already!

Can you spot gilyn ghost? HAHAH! 

Gilyn and me look scary... HAHHA.

Smiling demons. We're Casper's friend. AAHHH! 

Tryna be some hot ghost... OH WELL! Look like a pig instead. Pigs are hot too. LOL.

Where's gilyn. HMM I WONDER...

Hahhahhaha! Guess that's the end! Never really take alot of pic uh.. HAHAH! But okay let's get over Halloween. it's first of November already. Guess what did I do on first on November?

I freaking watch Paranormal Activity 4 and...

Watch Roy play slender man..

CONCLUSION IS: I AM NOT OVER GHOSTS. I AM NOT OVER HALLOWEEN...

Goodbye! Thanks for reading. (K)

Let's go crazy until we see the sun!

I know I look ridiculous... BUT THIS PIC IS TOO COOL. B)

Heeeeeey guuuuuuys!

 I'm feeling... supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Hahahahah, okay so I was listening to Becky G rap and that supercalifragilisticexpialidocious was in one of her verse. And I have no idea what it means, but I just thought it sounded just as awesome as me. Muahaha. It's probably some super profound english words mixed together and by saying it, I am probably some cool profound angmor-wanna-be. *Haolian face* NOT THE MAIN POINT. But if you guys haven't check her out yet, you guys should. She raps, and her voice is like... wuu-laa-laa. Hahah. Smexy. ^^

So, *using some angmor accent* , although my birthday is like LONG over, I would like to use this opportunity to thanks the world who made my birthday suck a wonderful day. Thanks for the presents, and everything. Really appreciate it! Okay, so let's get over my birthday!

I bought Taylor Swift album like.. 2 days after it release. Because the on first day, it wasn't at CD RAMA yet, it was only available at HMV, which is at somerset, which is so damn far. Second day, there was school and I was busy preparing for my taylor swift performance in school (LOL) so I didn't get it either. But the album is like selling super fast, so when I got in on the 3rd day, the wonderstruck perfume, which is given along with the CD as free gift, was out of stock. So I end up getting a calender with Taylor Swift face printed all over. Hahahha. Still nice la. The songs are so different from her previous albums. Like, she was more towards country music last time. Now, she's more towards pop. I still love her because her songs, lyrics, and everything else is still simple AWESOME. I need to share this with you guys. The day when I went to get her album, there was still ONE LEFT. So this girl and me are heading towards the album. We saw each other and there comes the tension. One album, two girls. So I made a quick and brilliant decision. I RAN. SHE STUN. I WON. GAME OVER. woohoo! So i got it. and I watch her walk to the counter and go " Do you have anymore taylor swift album? ): " And the cashier went, "NO, out of stock. :D" Sense of achievement. Winks~ If you haven't get her album yet, please do. But probably out of stock uhh, but do keep checking!

And as you guys know, I performed with YongLock. Yes, I don't know what to say about the performance, do you guys like it? Some of them say okay, some of them say I like shouting. -.- Hahahah whatever it is, at least the glass didn't break. And really, YONGLOCK DID A FABULOUS JOB THAT'S UNDENIABLE! *claps* And well.... Jordan, will obviously be shining, you don't say. So, after this performance, Miss Claire wanted us to be on her next video! Wee~ So I guess that's something you guys can look forward to? Or should I say... SOMETHING I LOOK FORWARD TO. HAHAH. We'll be covering two Taylor Swift song! FEARLESS and last but not least RED! I am so eggcited! Will be doing the cover on coming Friday.. Don't know when it'll come out.. But when it does, PLEASE SUPPORT BY WATCHING IT OKAY! :D

I guess that's about it! Pardon my lengthy post. Haha. Anyway,, sorry if my last few post was sad. Hahah. I was having PMS, but now it's over so I am happy again. LOL. I have pms quite often, bare with me. But if you can't bare... BURN YOU THINK I CARE? nah joking. If you can't bare... LIKE THAT LORH. *krik krik krik*

Okay I shall go cook noodles. Idc if I ate my dinner already, LET'S GO EATING EATING EATING TILL WE SEE THE SUN. TTFN!

Sad

"And I confess I'm only holding on by a thin thin thread."

I suggest you guys don't read this. This is gonna be a sad post. But.. I have to post. I need to type this out, somewhere. Just gonna pour it out and post like no one is gonna read this. ._. Pardon me.

"I count the ways I let you down, all my fingers and toes are running out."

I'm disappointed. I disappointed myself and I disappointed my parents the most. Watching them, hurts. They can't seems to be bothered anymore. I held them so close to me. I know I didn't show it. But they have been my pillar of strength. The one that holds me to me together, catching me when I fall. But right now, not being the best doesn't surprise them, creating trouble doesn't surprise them, disappointing them doesn't hurt them. It all seems so expected already. I feel like I lost the biggest piece in life, my biggest strength. I am so sad. They brought me to the world, thinking I will bring good news. They should have know that I was trouble. Shame on me now. I count the ways I let you down, all my fingers and toes are running out.

"But you never heard the words you needed so bad."

Man, it's been a long day. Kind of tired. ): I really don't want to be so insecure. I don't want to be the one looking down at myself. I don't want to be so scared. This year is, unbearable. I don't wanna appear strong anymore. It's teary as fuck, dramatic as fuck too. You just wish someone will come to you and tell you things  you've always wanted to hear to feel alright. But you never heard the words you needed so bad. 

"I don't want to be picking up all of these tiny little pieces."

I ask myself if I care too much, then when I care so much lesser, I realized I am losing things because I don't care. So do I care or not? It hurts to care, it hurts to not. I don't want to realize how much I am losing, I close my eyes and go to sleep, wake up and forget everything. But it comes back, I shut it out but it comes back. I don't want to be picking up all of these tiny little pieces.

"I'm not fine, I'm in pain. It's harder everyday."

I hate sitting there and watch everything fall. I hate shutting up when I know I don't want to keep quiet. I'm not like this. I always tell myself I am titanium, nothing can hurt me. But what's wrong? Why am I blaming and hating myself. I am scared to death to lose anything now. I do whatever I can to keep a piece in my life. But while finding that one piece, I drop another piece along the way. I can't have everything. But at the same time, I am losing everything. And I watch it fade. I'm not fine, I'm in pain. It's harder everyday.

"It's not right, not okay, to say the things that you say."

It really hurts when people say thing you don't want to hear. You, have pointed out my flaws again as if I don't already see them. They say it unintentionally sometimes. But it doesn't really matter. Intentionally, unintentionally, still hurts. They thought you wouldn't remember what they said, just a casual remark. But that few seconds, that few moment, when they say those few words, it scarred you forever. But you'll pretend you don't care, pretend that you know it is meant to be a joke, pretend that it doesn't affect you a wee bit. even so, you hope you could tell them "It's not right, not okay, to say the things that you say." It's like those word haunts you like your darkest nightmare, ruining you, constantly reminding you that you'll never be good enough, even they think so.

"The final blow hits you, somebody else gets what you wanted again."

There's always this someone you wanna be. It's like this person gets everything you've been craving for. And you watch her get everything you get in your dreams. Oh how you wish that was you. But, that's not you. The final blow hits you, somebody else gets what you wanted again. & now it's all the same, another time and place, repeating history and you're getting sick of it. Then it strikes you'll never be her.

"Let them go, let them fly. Holding back won't turn back time."

Because at certain part of your life, you'll realize someone/something maybe everything to you. But you are not necessarily your everything. That you grew up. You'll never be your daddy's princess or the girl that win the baby contest. That examination will not be as easy as learning how to spell 0-10 and have a spelling test on it. That friendships won't be as pure as those in kindergarten. That you're never gonna getting a kiss from a prince out of the blue and live happily ever after. That you're not gonna grow up and live in a castle. That happiness is always, so near yet so far. Things will never be that simple. Let them go, let them fly. Holding back won't turn back time.

"I'm not a princess. This ain't a fairy tale."

I am so gay. I am sorry I am the one to blame. Yah, you tried so much yet I still attitude you. I attitude everyone. I got a problem. I am the only one that is not trying to put everything back in place. I give in, because the thought of losing you sucks. I really thought you should go ahead, that I am not worth your time. But I don't know who else to turn to. I look at you wondering if you ever know how much I needed you. You just look back and smile. I know, you think that it's my fault for everything I've done. Even though  that's the fact, I really hope i don't know you think that way. I used to be perfect to you, remember? I am not anymore. I hate the words used to be. Because NOW I'M NOT. Maybe it's just a waste of time. Maybe I should hurt alone. I don't want to be a burden, because I am one now. But I am too tired too walk away sometimes I just wanna fall right smack in your arms and sleep. Everyday feels like a battle, I feel like I can lose you any second. Or did I lost you already? Everything you say makes me feel bad. I know you just wanted to help, but it hurts. You say you would change me, so you hate the me now? You say you tried to help but I rejected, I will have to face the consequences myself. Face the consequences? Myself? I admit defeat man, I'll pull out a white flag. I count the ways I let you down, all my fingers and toes are running out. But I never heard the words I needed so bad. I don't want to be picking up all of these tiny little pieces. I'm not fine, I'm in pain. It's harder everyday. It's not right, not okay, to say the things that you say. Time change, people change. I am not perfect. I'm not a princess. This ain't a fairy tale. I'm trying, but I can't be the one. I really want to be that cheerful and perfect girl. But I am not. Not what you've been wishing for. And after all of this, I still need you. you're right, how selfish. You tried, so did my parents. When I'm not happy I attitude. I give that face, give that voice. Everyone see liao also don't want to care right? You tried, it's my life, you don't wanna care anymore. I'll face my own consequences and do the things I want. Is that it? I'm breaking, I feel helpless. I feel so frustrated by myself. I show the frustration to certain people, thinking they'll understand. But I was wrong, they're not me. They don't deserve the pain I am suffering. I will be happy man, I won't show it to you, won't vent it on you. I am sorry. I expected way too much. Sorry and thank you.  I am so grateful you walked in, and I am just praying you won't walk out. Just hold me. I hope you'll never read this.

it's 1:36 now and there's school tomorrow. Screw. I'll free up this tired soul before the sadness kills me. You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice.

Blow me one last kiss.

Tie a knot in the rope, trying to hold, trying to hold, 

But there's nothing to grab so I let go.

Hi I am hungry, gosh when is dinner.

I can't believe it. I am blogging, again today. I guess I mean it when I say I am gonna blog constantly man. :D Oh and I did a cover on Red by Taylor Swift, and guess what? I can't find the cable to my camera. Guess it's not meant to be :') I'll let go. Hahahaha. 

Did you guys watch X factor yesterday?! I stayed up for it because j-j-j-b is on it. They holymamahottie Justin Bieber. *Screams* But what the hell is he doing in the older age category?! I mean like... he should be at least among the teens or something, at least he can relate to them. All the uncles, and aunties, will they relate to him?! What is he doing in the older age group? ): Or should I say, what is he doing in LA house? He should be at my houseeee. :D HAHAH okay no. That'll never happen. ):

Anyway, I think the most out-standing one is cece frey and Lylas. I mean like Cece frey cecefied the song until it's really burning sexyyy. Oh well, she's sexy and she knows it man. That confident bitch. I am so jelly. And lylas' voice is like BOOM. They make the song impossible sounds like it's totally possible. Hahahah. They must get in IDC. 

I don't have anything to blog actually. I will post the video later if I can find my freaking cable. Right nowwww, 3 more days to my birthday. 10 more days to Taylor Swift Red album. Who's excited? Okay I don't really care if anyone is excited. I'm excited. LALALA.

I am gonna go dig for food. Bye! :)

Loving him was red.

Losing him was blue like I never known.

Missing him was dark grey all alone.

Forgetting him is like tryna' now somebody you never met.

'Cause loving him was red.

Count down people. 4 more days to my birthday. 11 more days to the awesome Taylor Swift album RED. Oh my god, be excited people! It's Taylor freaking Swift! So far, 5 of her album songs have came out: Begin again, Ronan (not sure if it'll be in her album), We are never ever ever getting back together, I knew you we are trouble and of course RED, :D Go grab it like it's free (but it's not) on 22 Oct!

I have no idea why am I more eggcited about Taylor's album release more than my birthday. ): Hahahaha. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I'M NO EXCITED AT ALL. I think I am more excited about Xmas which more that 2 months away. What's my problem?

So exam is over (I totally screw it)... but I am not dumb. I am just, YOU KNOW, dumb. hahah. I just wish and pray and beg and cry that I won't need to drop A.maths. ): Should've studied, but there's always next year what :D That is, if I can continue A.maths. Haish. It's over, no point broodinggggggg. Get over it, okay I'm over it.

I know it's been a gazillion years since I post. And being the first post since I posted a gazillion years later, I shall update you guys how sad I am. D': HAHAH.

Dedicated to, you know who you are so shut up HAHA:

You're probably NEVER GONNA SEE THIS. It's just that people keep leaving. People keep telling me that "You can't everything." But what I want to say is, I don't need everything, I need you to stop leaving, and people to stop leaving. I mean like, you guys are so important to me. Anyone that stepped into my life is so important, and when people stop talking to me, I do realize it. When I don't say it, doesn't mean I don't care. (this implies to many more others haha) And then I try so dang hard to keep people I love and care about, but people still went ahead without me. ): "When I fell hard, you took step back, without me." You say I'm self centered, but what you never know is, I really need you, not because I want everyone in my life. 多的是，你不知道的事。I've been in your shoes. I guess I understand how you feel so I won't blame you. ): But I'll leave the door on the latch, if you ever come back. "Well you said that we could still be friend." "But you didn't have to cut me off, make it like it never happened and that we were nothing, you treat me like a stranger and it felt so rough." I don't want you to be somebody that I used to know, I don't want remembering you to come in flashbacks and echoes. ): Why aren't you talking to me yet?

(that's not to boyfriend/crush/loveone although it may sound like it because I am lame)

Okay now happy stuff, my dad bought me porridge, YAY SUPPER. hahahah. Forever eating, forever hungry, when there's forever food, I AM FOREVER HAPPY. yumyum.

I think I'll be posting constantly so do read up my blog often! Not like you should care about my life but I am just sayin. Hahah. 

My sister each bitching me right now, I will go ahead and stuff a mouthful of porridge in that stupid mouth of hers now. TTFN! 

-TingEn. :D

Love me for me.

I don’t want you to love me, if you don’t want to love me. 

Yeah I have to admit, that I’m wounded. But so what? I’ve been wounded a zillion times, heal anyway with a few scars here and there. I’m gonna heal it now, put a pretty little plaster and walk away. Like I have done it so often, so often that baby it no longer hurts.

Because we play hide and seek, we play games. I know, you have her, you don’t need me. But at the same time, I don’t need you; you think you’re the only one? I played it well too. But love isn’t a game. Look at us.

We can hug like it’s just a hug, kiss like it’s just a kiss. You act like you can leave like those memories like they weren’t even worth the keep. So imma act like I don’t give a shit.

They say time change, people change, feelings fade, and life goes on. I will burn, bury, tear, drown everything we had ever held on. Never did I think that everything that we have been craving for turn out to be something that wasn’t even worth fighting for.

 I’m done. I give up. I don’t want to pretend no more. That’s it, so what? I’ve lost a friend before. Gonna say it like it is. No more wondering what if, that ain’t they way you ought to live, cause I don’t want you to love me, if you don’t want to love me. 

 It's funny how forever is over.

Call me maybe?

Hello people, school starts! Welcome to round 2 of hell. >:D HELL YEAH, UH HUH.

So, who watched the Lorax?

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing's going to get better. It's not." -Dr Suess.  

Hahaha, yah, because someone like me cares a whole awful lot, all your lives are now awesome, thanks to me. ((:

I mean, speaking the truth, I really hoped it was more comical and stuff, but it wasn't. Even so, the movie is just adorable and.. yah, watch it. :D

I can't wait for Madagascar, now who's excited? I like to move it move it. :P


So, school started. Tons of undone homework stacked up like, in a pile. This is what you get when you keep delaying and tell yourself there's still tomorrow. -.- Yah Ting En, tomorrow is over, *emoji's shock face*

K IT DIDNT EXACTLY LOOK LIKE THIS BUT WHATEVER.

Needa buck up on my studies, I know I am saying it for the 837463728292382747 times but yah, it's like that one what. You feel motivated for at most one month everytime school start. #FACTS. ^^ Just so many things I wanna do before I die, LMAO. I needa go find tuition, asap.

FML.

Yah bye.

Smile through the pain.

You're not ugly, it's society that sucks. Live, laugh, love. ♥

FadedHolySoldier.

Warning: This post contains loads of vulgarites. If a simple vulgarity can burn you into ashes, then press the red cross on the top right hand corner. Don't die reading it.

#Facts no. 1 - SARCASM AND INSULT BELONGS TO 2 DIFFERENT WORLD
DearDearDear 'FadedHolySoldier' , your jokes are so damn hilarious, you're totally hot and I love how you messed up insult and sarcasm. Nice humor. (Oh that's what sarcasm is. ) Look up the dictionary. We all know that Aaron TAN can't pronouns stuff properly, but hey you have no rights to talk about his engRish too because you are no better. You can't even differentiate insult and sarcasm and you want to talk much.

#Facts no. 2 - FADEDHOLYSOLDIER-SIST.

You are so damn RACIST Mr. FadedHolySoldier. And there you go on and on how Singaporeans are god damn racist. We? Singaporeans? Are RACIST? Oh priest. We celebrate Racial Harmony every year. Like you even do that in your country. You call that racist? You are totally countrycist + chinesesist + asiansist. And guess what? I am FadedHolySoldierSist, dude. We are not racist. We live in peace with one another. You don't even see us on the freaking news saying like we tear down each other's toilet cause we are RACIST. And how are we even racist? I know some of them call you nigga, blackie or whatever, but, that's understandable. Because you totallly bitched about us FIRST. And what do people do when other people bitch about you? YOU BITCH BACK. See the link? So don't say we Singaporeans are racist when you yourself is totally a racist jerk. If PeterChao ever see this, I wonder... One thing for sure, well PeterChao is racist and he is FUNNY. You're racist and you're NOT FUNNY. That's why.

#Facts no. 3 - "FUCK YOU SINGAPORE!" THANKS

Stop using the word Fuck in like every sentence you say as though it is a freaking punctuation. " Hey fuck do you wanna eat sausage fuck bread fuck or milk fuck for breakfast fuck how about some bananas fuck" Whaddup with that word man. You're so rudeeeeee. You have no game man, you have no swag. You're like "Fuck you singapore!" Guess what? The holes in Singapore are way to big for your dick. Try fucking everyone in Singapore and let's see what happen to your sword down there with 10 min. You think you O mac donalds?

O Mac Donalds had a farm E I E I O
And on his farm he had FadedGhostlySoldier E I E I O
With a fuck fuck here, and a fuck fuck there.
Here fuck there fuck everwhere FUCK FUCK.
O Mac Donalds had a farm E I E I O



#Facts no. 4 - IT'S TAAAAAAAAN. IT'S AHHHHHHH BENG. 


It's Tan. TAN. not Tang ling long ching chang or whatsoever. It's TAN, you stupid dead soldier. Don't pronounce it if you can't. You're not doing a freaking Chinese Opera, you're not funny. You're insulting all the Tan's right now you dog. You're so stupid. Have any Tan even offended you in anyway? Do you even know any Tan? Lucky I am not Tan or I would have tie you naked upside down on a tree. -.- OHHORH, I TELL TONY TAN. I STOMP YOU AH! #SoSingaporean. It's AH BENG. It's not ANG BENG. What the OMNOMNOM is wrong with you? As much as Aaron Tan failed his pheonix, you did too my frieang. Friend.

#Facts no. 5 - YOU DRUNTARD ASSTARD. EGGTARD PINEAPPLETARD. RE. TARD. ED.
Stop drinking. You stinks. Eww. It's beeeeeeeeeer. It's not CocaCola or PepsiCola123 aye. You're drinking that thing like it's mineral water. I mean whuaaaaaaaat deeeeeee omnomnom you're gonna die real fast old boy. You drinking that 1.5l of beer in that 1.5l bottle only prove to us one thing. You're goddamn stress that our whole country is against YOU. You're goddamn stress that you can't give free blow jobs in Singapore. You're goddamn stress that you can't stick some gums up some assed. You're goddamn stress because nobody likes you now because you have no friends because your english sucks. Because you're a pervert.

#Facts no. 6 - WE ARE NAISE PEOPLE.
We forgive you Mr. whatsoeverGhostSoldier, not. We can be nice but not to you since you've been such a.. such a.. fux. We welcome you to our country though, like you even dare to get your ass down here now. Hahaha. You're bullshit man. Learn to speak with the word fuck, learn to pronouns Tan and Ah Beng, learn to respect. What goes around comes back around. Don't stress liao la! haha! LikeA3YearOldKidSiaYou.

#Facts no. 7 - SIA!
SINGAPORE. IS. AWESOME. ! .

Thumbs up for 2NE1! Woohoo! Naegajae janaga!

This is the video this guy uploaded. He is known as FadedHolySoldier on youtube. (Like it's even a name, eat yourself.) He posted about Aaron Tan at first and then he posted about Asians, especially Singaporeans, are RACIST. This American guy says that we are RACIST, HELLO I KNOW YOU AH?! Please view both videos and you'll understand what I am ranting about. He removed his second vid, i don't know for what la, scared perhaps? But this is his two other videos. Enjoy! :D

Red nose reindeer.

" 'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,

And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be.

Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,

And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I'm not moving. "

Confession: I've always thought the word 'Reindeer' is spelt as 'Raindeer'. Boy oh boy, I got it all messed up. Tsk. :D

Christmas is round the corner! And I wonder how this year's christmas will be. I totally plan my wishlist alre.

My X'mas Wishlist:

1) Justin Bieber.

2) Justin Bieber.

3) Justin Bieber.

4) Justin Bieber.

5) Justin Bieber.

6) Justin Bieber.

7) Justin Bieber.

8) Justin Bieber.

9) Justin Bieber.

10) Dad, please don't throw MoMo away. )':

(Warning: MoMo is my baby pillow. Aww.)

How I hope that my house magically grow one chimney for dearoldSanta to squeeze his big ass into and give me my presents. ): Singapore sucks. Why no chimney one? Even three little pigs have chimney! LAUJI.

I have not start on my holiday's homework yet! Shall start soon. SOON. Haha, sooooon. I miss school. At least when I go school, I feel that I am living my life with a purpose. Now? I feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind. Boring! Shall post again realll soon! Adios!

Hit the lights.

"I love you for a thousand years, I will love you for a thousand more."

Hey! wassup? Back to blogging!

I know it's dumb okay! I keep editing my blog but yet I don't even bother posting, what the hell is wrong with me right? Haha. So I shall post. :D

The class allocation thingy is out! Woohoo! I got into double science, oh yeahhh. I barely scrape through, but whatever! Don't remind me that I am not in the same class as the others okay! This is so depressing! I wonder how my next year's class will be. Hope it'll be as awesome. 3-3, please be awesome okay! HAHA. *excited*.

Watched 2359, what the hell is wrong with the director, dang scary okay. What the hell! I was like squirming in my seat trying not to scream, thinking what it will be like if I have a boyfriend next to me for me to hug! Hahaha, and then for a second I wanted a boyfriend so badly, BUT NAH! But it was like thrilling, so I love the show. Or is it, I love to scare myself because it is thrilling. Hahah. IDC MAN.

So excited for tml! 11:11 on 11/11/11. I am so loving number one! woohoo! Who's excited? :D

Going to bball later. I black enough alre puish! -.-

P/S. I will never tell you how excited I felt when you say those words, i will never show.

Your forever means nothing.

“ 我的声音在笑，泪在飘。”

Hello everybody! :>
This might be the last post of this month! Examinations are coming and I really want to study! (Eventhough I don't know if I will. :x)
Life hasn't been great. I want to rant! About everything.But it's too much to rant about! So I shall Summarize!
Dear parents, don't let your emotions at work affect me please. You get pissed off at work, that your work problem. Don't nag at me as though I am the ass that pissed you off. I don't know what's wrong with talking on the phone, texting and what so ever. Isn't that what phones are for? If not leave it on the table for decorations? I know mom is sick, but that doesn't give her a reason to be ridiculous. I am trying my best already, but it doesn't seems like you are. I keep going on and on about how awesome you guys are infront of my friends, but you guys may be an ass sometimes. I have my own problems in school to, I am feeling down too, do you have to make me feel sad too at home? PLEASE, LET ME OFF.
Dear x, you are the person that is the most impossible person to piss me off like that. How could you? I really feel like a spare tire now please. ._. I never doubted. I never thought too much. But hey, if it wasn't that she rejected you, we really wouldn't even happen. I thought you were special, not like any other guy. Why did you? Why didn't you ask me before you ask her? Whyyyyyyyy. I suddenly feel so unimportant, it's always her. I'm always behind her no matter what. For you, I'm behind her. For him, I'm also behind her. I really don't know what to say. I want to forgive, and let it go, but I can't. I thought you loved me from the start. You liked me, you didn't love me.

P/S. I love the way you smile at me, the way you look at me. But you don't mean it.
I am not emo, I am just.. okay nevermind! After a hurricane comes a rainbow. I am just waiting for sunlight to come back. :D Ciaos.

You blow my mind.

I love you like a love song baby.

Sup?

What? Why is holiday so short? I haven finish hw! (I haven find boyfriend! Aingggg. Joking!) Seriously, what shit is this? One week, might as well not have holiday at all! Haiyoyo.

Went to kayak ystd and ystd ystd. Imma indian. I look tan and orangy. I look cool, I'm a cool kid. ^^ I got kayak cert, you don't have, be jealous! Hahaha.

Life is boring, "Dear God, thank you for this beautiful life and forgive me if I don't love it enough." Regret for not going out with Rick now. >: That emoboy97.

How long must the silence stay? I'm dying. I am like a depress girl whose mother don't want to give her sweet. ):

Short post! Bye!

You are all I got, and I got nothing.

"If you're covering your face now, but you just can't hide the pain. "

Supppp yooo!

I'm officially a banglahh now. I've been trying to whiten myself for the entire hols but it just take one day to ruin it all. I am black. ): I went to basketball just now! I AM B to the L to the A to the C to the K. Shit yeah, tomorrow got kayaking somemore, BLACK TTM LE LA. *Cry my organs out.*

Today the went to basketball at Sembawang (for the first time) with Jordan and friends and fel, like a finally. (': I forget when was the last time we balled together. Like awesome only, finally after 95659852 years I get to play a proper match. Woohoo, A proper match is just what I need. <3

A picture of gilyn with her childhood sweet or whatever that thing is. :B

Gilyn and I bus-ed home together from sembawang and the bus ride was boring. So we decided to stomp ourselves and earn money, and we took this awesome picture: Gilyn Mah Ting Sim eating on a bus! Seriously, but we decided not to stomp it because we realize we are kinda lame. So we cut the crap. :D

I'm suppose to study, but laziness always win. Shit, I really need to study already but I just can't. Gahhhhh. >:

Nothing much Hotties. So yahh bye. <3 I LOVE YOU.

It's not suppose to feel this way, I need you more and more each day. It's not suppose to hurt this way, I need you, I need you, I need you.Why won't you just just fb chat me or text me you shit face. >:

If you ever come back.

(I tried my best, but Gilyn and I still look freaky. BUT WHATEVER :>)

"But even if wishing is a waste of time, even if I never cross your mind."

Supp People!


When to the dental with Gilyn! Thanks to ME, her braces are now bright red in colour. Aww, she must love me. Now her braces are shoooooo outstanding. Haahahahaha.

Nothing much. This is just for your entertainment about what I have been doing. Lol, idc if you want to know or not. (: BYE!

I'll do anything for you to look back at me and smile again, and it'll be just like you were never gone.